Reflecting on the past......

 I watched my father go through all the stages but however you look at it, my progression is slow and there are things I can still do that many others can't so I take this as a gift to do all that I can to help our cause. I will keep speaking out until no one will listen any more. Sometimes I have wondered if it was a curse to have so much time to realize what is happening but like I have said it is what it is and I can't change it so I try to stay positive and work with what I can still do. I do have to pace myself though or my wife pays the price and we BOTH understand that most of the time. I overdo sometimes because I have a hard time saying no but the people that care about me in my life are so good to me they never expect a lot, they ask if I think I might be able to do something and are very understanding when something prevents it. I got sad today when I was reflecting about how I never thought I was anything special or any better than anyone else but you don't realize how good something is until you lose it and that is what it is like with this disease. If you are self aware as those of us that participate are, you realize that wow, I really was talented at some things and I just took it for granted and could have done so much more! That to me is sad,  some people have realized what they wanted to in life and that is awesome, for me having ADD all my life I didn't realize I had a near photographic memory before the disease and could succeed with anything I put my mind to but the problem was I had to want it and sometimes that was extremely difficult with ADD for me to realize what the end game was and how to get there. I wandered through life far too much taking things as they happened rather than mapping out where I wanted to go and how I was going to get there. Oh I understood in sales the phrase if you fail to plan, you plan to fail but somehow I was what one trainer referred to as unconscious competent in sales. I instinctively knew how to handle things and therefore was able to handle even the most difficult clients. I was in business to business sales where I developed accounts with repeat business and I really excelled with that. I tried the old cold calling one call close type sales and I was horrible with that because I am way too honest to be successful. I lived by the motto to always do what is best for my customer and I will have that customer forever and it worked VERY well. Unfortunately now looking back I realize I could have done anything I put my mind to doing, I just had to want it. I could have gone to medical school, I could have done anything but I needed to want it bad and put in the work to get it which also was hard for me to connect all of that together when it counted but then I guess they say hindsight is 20/20 for a reason. Too bad you don't get do overs! :-)