The weather took an ugly turn for the worse here yesterday. It had been as warm as the 50's last week and arctic air moved in over the weekend. It brought along unexpected snowfall yesterday just when almost all of the more than a foot of snow we got one day in December was gone. Oh boy! I honestly would rather it stay cold than go from one extreme to the other continually because it is so hard for the body to keep adjusting back and forth. You just get kind of used to it being unseasonably warm and in to the deep freeze you go making your body feel cold long after you are back in somewhere warm. Maybe it is age, maybe it is my disease but I am finding winters in the midwest harder and harder to tolerate as I get older. They didn't used to bother me much but they are all I have ever known. Sure, I have taken winter vacations to warm destinations but I have never lived anywhere but this state. Southern Florida type climate in the winter sounds better every winter. But all of our children and grandchildren are here so it is hard to see us moving unless we were able to afford to travel back up here frequently and that is not likely.
So, as usual, I digress totally from the subject of today's blog entry. Monday, it always meant the start of another work week and then end of the weekend. So it is understandable why so many people dread Monday. People often live and work for the weekend because it is when they get to do what they enjoy most. Some are lucky enough to love what they do for work and perhaps weekends aren't a big deal. I was never that lucky. While the job I did for the longest period I really did enjoy most aspects of it but I still thoroughly enjoyed my weekends. Now days I am on disability and I am home all the time so one would think Monday is just another day. But it isn't. I don't really understand it, whether it is because my wife has been home during the weekend all day so it is a change to the daily schedule or just ingrained habit that Mondays are my least favorite day I really don't know. I do know that I rarely have a good Monday as far as productivity when left to my own ability to motivate and figure things out. Sometimes they feel like downright ugly days and I don't know why. It doesn't really make sense but as one who always tried to use logic and understand things I have had to realize there is no understanding many things about this disease. Some things just plain don't make sense. I know through the online support group I started, the in-person support group we go to and various other online support areas I visit that many of the experiences are common but they just don't make much sense. Those of us diagnosed often hate change of any kind, especially big changes in schedule, unexpected changes are a big one for me. If I know what to expect then I can deal with it easier but unexpected when it wasn't necessarily what I wanted can really throw me for a loop. I also struggle more and more with emotion and this is something that while not totally uncommon is possibly not as common with Alzheimer's as it is with some other types of dementia. But being atypical I am a very strange mix of symptoms that doesn't neatly fit in a category. I do think that even though I am atypical it will one day be discovered that there are more people with my variant than they realize right now. I would still be diagnosed as atypical FTD if it were not for the information on my father's brain autopsy. I think many that are like me and don't for a second think it could be a brain disease causing their problems also go undiagnosed for longer periods than I did and it leads them to losses that are much worse than mine. It often causes people to be fired from their jobs, ruins marriages and causes great harm to family relationships because no one can understand why someone seems to be acting the way they are not knowing there is a disease process at work. These are just my opinions and hunches but I think one day they will prove out to be true.
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