August 12th, 2012

Got back from a trip to Virginia Beach last Monday (8-6-12) and it sure was good to be home again. It used to be a sense of regret coming home from a trip because it meant the adventure was over and it was time to go back to work. Now days with this disease it is always a relief, not that I don't still enjoy traveling because I do, but it is stressful and the total change in all routines and unfamiliarity starts to wear heavy on me. It also stressful that often there are so many things planned it seems like I am on the go constantly which I am not used to at all. Life has very necessarily become slow paced and deliberate for me. It takes a lot of time to do things that used to be quick and I get so sidetracked with everything I do that I often start out to do something, get sidetracked on to other things and never get back to what I what I intended to do in the first place. Something that is unbelievably frustrating later when I realize I never got the important thing done. It is just a fact of life now days though that I am trying to learn to live with. It is hard sometimes to get others around me to understand this constant battle that I fight, to them some things about me seem normal so they forget just how many problems I continually deal with and I am not one to complain about them either. I totally believe in making the best out of what I can still do and focusing on the positives. With dementia I think you would spend a great deal of time with self pity if you don't think that way. I don't personally think self pity is good for anyone least of all the person experiencing the disease. Time is precious with dementia just as it is with any terminal disease but since your life is in a continual state of dropping quality of life it feels all the more precious. So that is my ramblings for today, I am going to try to start posting to my blog more often, it is therapeutic to put thoughts and feelings down in writing.

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